First Impressions...

Sunday Night

First Impressions.

Like most of us, I easily fall prey to making assumptions about groups of people. Today I saw a couple of amazing things inside prison.

Two guys at my table, T. and C., are forthright to a fault. Neither are afraid to call me, or any of their fellow residents/Stars/wards on the carpet. If you think that prison culture is some big monolithic society where everyone is a gangster and everyone thinks the same way, think again. T, who has been in and out of jails and prisons since he was about 11 we figured is an interesting example. He’s a firm believer in Jesus and routinely challenges friends intellectually. “I don’t want to be a father now,” I overheard him tell another Star immediately to his left during dinner. “I can’t raise a child right now. Locked up. And I don’t want someone else to raise my child. That’s not right. I need to be a good father.”

I asked him if he had a relationship with his father or another father figure. He said no and I asked him where he’d learned so much about being a father. “I guess when you don’t have a father, you learn from that. You want to give your child everything and ‘everything’ includes being a good father. I can’t do that yet. I can’t provide for a child. I don’t blame anyone for anything they do for their children. But if you’re just out doing crime for yourself, I can’t live with that.” Not what I expected from someone who’d been inside prisons for almost half his young life.

I asked him how he came about his strong faith and if his mother has a strong faith. “Not as strong as it should be. I pray about that a lot.”

Wow.

To my right today sat C. He’s another one who’s not afraid to challenge anyone intellectually. He said his biggest worry is that people will judge him for his background, his conviction, his upbringing, his neighborhood. “What I’m saying is that that’s not all me. I’m so much more than that now. I’m not going to ever get the opportunity to go to college, but that doesn’t mean I’m not intelligent. I grew up in the projects, but it doesn’t mean I want to be a gangster all my life. I’m in prison right now because I made bad choices. But it doesn’t mean I always want to make bad choices. And it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. But no one listens.”

Across the room there’s a young man named A. He told us this evening that he finally learned that God put him into prison to keep him safe.

“I know if I wasn’t in here, I’d be dead. They’d come to get me for what I’d done if I was outside. Just like they did to my little sister when they killed her. They jumped her because they couldn’t get to me. Now I’ve lost everything, but I know God has a huge plan for me. He had to take all the things I love from me just so I’d be able to understand and pay attention – my life was going the wrong way. God had to take that from me so I could start on whatever it is I’m supposed to be starting on for Him.”

Wow. Pretty insightful young men today.

We often say that we, the adults, actually get more out of these weekends  than we bring or give. Today was one of those times.  I gained a little more insight into the lives of young people that we don’t usually see from the safety of our suburbs and our SUVs. I saw some very intelligent and sensitive people – God’s children – who have so much potential and crave a chance to start over again.

I have extreme faith that God will open the doors to give them a second chance, just as he does for all of us to one degree or another throughout our lives.

I also learned – again – to not be so quick to judge a book by its cover.